w
h
i
t
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A liking to black & white is my fortune
Yet , white is my passion
And it is driving my life crazy
/ PROFILE -
Sun Yufei
26/11/1992
Shanghainese
Nanyang Junior College 2010-2011
Punggol Secondary 2006-2009
Exported from China since 2005
Currently a foreign student
May consider becoming a PR
A story of black & white
but i'll prefer white
This is a very long post.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 { 2:10 AM }
Finally, A's has ended, JC life has ended and some other things have also ended.
Used to have many thoughts of how I'm going to spend my time with those people I like.
now it seems so silly to have those thoughts back then.
For 6 years and 5 months approximately, I've never had left this Island for more than 1 month.
This island is definitely my 2nd home or even very possibly becoming my first home in the future.
For the first time I'm going to leave singapore for 3 months.
Part 1: Singapore
Come to think about it,
all the people I've met since 13 years old are living here.
My mum is here with my stepfather. They've been working here for more than a decade.
I've changed so much since I came here.
My chinese accent is kind of local,
my english language still stinks but I'm working on it.
It takes quite a lot of effort to become part of the society.
Of course it sucks ttm when ppl give you the you-are-cheena-not-local-please-go-away look when you tell them you're from china. It's just like you got rejected all of a sudden.
What to do? No idea.
Nonetheless, I still love this city.
Part 2: Shanghai
I sometimes really hate it when people think that all the people from china are all the same,
why must you really compare us with those uneducated people making all the poisonous food?
We're different!
I'm happy that I was born in Shanghai, a beautiful city in china.
The city's so attractive that it's the main reason I'm still holding onto my chinese passport.
It's just so different from the other places in china.
The people are much nicer than the those living in other parts of china.
High level of education, unique culture, fancy buildings, good economics developments, too many to name.
Both Shanghai and Singapore are so good in their own ways, I can never decide which is better.
This time I'll be living in Shanghai for 3 months.
Can't wait to live in my hometown again
Part 3: The people
I didn't make many new friends this year.
I got closer with some close people, I became distant with some close people.
Partially due to school, partially due to other little things.
Actually this kind of thing is somewhat unavoidable I believe.
I'm glad that I became closer with my jc friends this year.
Our relationship has improved from close classmates to forming a real clique.
Though it is sometimes very happening within the clique,
but I really appreciate the fact that the clique is the main thing making me feel alive in school.
For the warriors, I've hung out with you guys much lesser than before.
You guys are busier than last year, so am I.
This year we still meet up but mostly is to celebrate our birthdays,
but the level of enjoyment just decreases so much and I can't explain why.
We used to catch movies at ehub play cards all night last year.
I do miss those times, the fun nights we have spent are definitely worth the memories.
There are still many other really close friends like mac&melvin, raphael etc.
Also ppl like bon, sandra in jc.
You guys are really awesome!
Part 4: Pain
Dedicating a whole section to this,
this is really smth that I can never erase from my memories in 2011.
If I were to become emotional and stuff, chances are 80% is related to this.
I can't really talk much here since it's really a pathetic story for me.
Or rather I've got too much to say that I'll perhaps do something stupid again.
I used to like this girl, then I felt we got distanced, I couldn't resist my temptation to talk to her.
In the end I said really mean things. Things got worsen. Somewhat we managed to become normal after some time. Some minor things happened. I felt the same way of being ignored. We got distanced again. I said very very mean things again. She hates me very much now.
I do wish for a 2nd chance to tell/talk with this special someone and also apologies to her.
Then again almost everybody asks me to just leave it alone and don't think about it.
This thing is really annoying that I can never make up my mind between
leave everything alone and continue being hated by her(The feeling can never be described)
or call/text/any way that can allow myself to explain myself and look for that 1% possibility of overturning the situation?
Well, I always have the impulse to do the latter option but I guess listening to friend's advice and sticking to the former is a wiser choice.
A part of me hopes this to be seen by her, a part of me doesn't, another part of me thinks she totally forgets about the existence of this blog already.
I guess this is maybe why people think I'm unmanly since a man can always make a decision quickly.
Part 5: The escape
Actually I've booked the air ticket myself, I've booked it long ago.
It's kinda early right? 13/Dec/2012, just 2 weeks after A's ended.
The truth is,
I can't wait to leave this island temporarily and take a break.
If I've said I want to live with my father, that's only partially true, or more like an excuse.
The actual objective of having a 3 months stay in shanghai is to help me forget about these worries in Singapore and possibly experiencing something really different.
I know if I were to stay in Singapore, I will probably continue living the same life,
which I kinda dislike.
I've already spent many days playing games after As, this is something I want to change.
Gaming is not good at all.
I really need this break or rather "the escape" badly.
So that I can do things different from here.
I wouldn't be able to use facebook, twitter, blogger in China.
A total cut-off from the life here.
Just imagine starting a new life, making new friends, overthrowing all the unhappy memories, do all the things you like without restrictions, doesn't have to live under pressure.
How many chances can you do this in life?
I'm really lucky because I can choose to do this while 99% of the people cannot do so.
I've no idea how this trip will become,
I hope it to be great.
See you guys in Late Feb/Early March 2012.
Labels: 飞
Since 28th/Nov/2008
black & whte suits my style
white are the words
/ Tagboard-
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History is black & white